i'm having a week where nothing and everything is happening all at once. so far i've learned:
my stomach goes a little nuts when it is 95 degrees for more than three consecutive days
waiting for something to happen takes a lot of patience. i do not possess said patience. now that what i'm waiting for is here i feel numb to all emotion. i want it so badly that i won't let myself feel excitement because not getting it will be more devastating than i can handle.
i want to be the best support for king louie. he's alwys been solid as a rock for me and i pray that i'm returning the favor. it isn't easy. i want to say the right thing and do the right thing and take all his stress away. i want him to feel smart, successful, capable and worthy. i want to him to see all his potential. i want him to see himself as i see him. he isn't pefect but he is amazing. i want him to know that.
my family is amazing. i'm serious. if you ever need to get a prayer chain going let me know. my grandma will start motoring on her rosary. never underestimate the power of a catholic convert.
i let my fear get in the way of things that i want and that i'm capable of. last night in yoga my teacher helped me into a headstand and then let me go. i'm strong enough to hold it on my own but i'm afraid. as a result, my fear is holding me back.
i can be really mean. it usually sounds like i'm being funny. in fact, if you met me you would probably think i'm hilarious. however, i find myself being funny at other people's expense. wouldn't this make me a bully? it kind of boggles my mind. that's not at all who i set out to be. i like being funny. i like making people laugh. i don't want to do it in a mean and gossipy way. this is presenting quite a challenge.
see what i mean? it's been quite the week. i need things to resolve themselves so i can breathe again. i'd also like a nap and a weekend and a million dollars.