weekend: crow and headstand

crow and headstand are my personal challenge poses.  they're the ones that keep me coming back to my mat with the hopes that it is the day i will master them.  saturday morning i was practicing at home and 'poof' i went into crow.  it was amazing.  it was about a second but it felt right.  i was so excited.  as long as things were going well, i decided to give headstand a whirl.  right now i'm attempting headstand with my knees bent and 'poof' i went up in that one too.  that also lasted about a second and was amazing.  i felt exhilirated.  i have no natural yoga ability.  i'm as unflexible as the day is long and any strength was built from scratch.  one of the things i love about yoga is achieving what once seemed impossible. 

by nature i'm a timid person who doesn't trust herself.  i was told that i have the strength for crow and headstand but my lack of confidence was holding me back.  i am afraid.  i'm afraid that i'll fail, i'm afraid that i'll hurt myself and i'm afraid that i'll never be able to do it.  saturday i proved to myself that i can do it but achieving it cannot be forced.  yoga requires patience and i was meant to do crow and headstand on my own timetable.  i'm enjoying this journey and how self reflection is unavoidable.  i'm learning patience, perseverance and self forgiveness for not being perfect and that patience, perserverance and self forgiveness often comes with laughter, tears and swearing. 

i know that the next time i attempt crow or headstand that i may not be successful the way i was on saturday.  however, i also know that with a little hard work and determination some day my challenge poses will just be poses and there will be another set of poses to attempt and conquer.  i'll be ready for the adventure!